In honor of Valentine’s Day, and because you know we love a good body love message, we’re taking a moment to talk about how to let your partner love your body when maybe you’re not quite there yet yourself. You see, the cycle of body love for moms is complex and can take an awfully long time to move through. We go from stages of confusion to disgust, acceptance to love (and back ‘round again sometimes!) and our partners get swept up in it along the way. Allowing your partner to love (and love on!) your body is an integral part of developing your own sweet body love and we happen to think it’s very important. But how does someone go about letting someone else love their body when they’re not so sure it’s lovable? That, Dear Peach, is the question.
When You Think You Look Like S&%t, Let Them Love You
Part of why you chose to spend your life making and raising babies with this person is because they make you feel awesome, right? Even on your worst days with spit-up soaked clothing, an unwashed head of tangled hair and dragon breath because you haven’t had time to brush, your partner should still be able to make you feel loved and lovable. And then they should send you straight to the bathroom and handle bedtime without you because you deserve to pee and bathe alone, right? Right.
Peachie Moms Challenge: As parents, sometimes part of managing motherhood is scheduling sexytime. So do just that! Set a sex date and be sure to pamper yourself the day-of. Dust off the razor, condition your hair and pull out the lingerie from the back of your undies drawer. Do whatever it is that makes you feel sexy! When we feel sexy, we allow ourselves to be a little more uninhibited and feel ready to be loved.
When You’re Starting to Embrace Your Body But Aren’t Quite Sure You Love it Yet, Let Them Love You
As you move through that cycle of learning to love your body, allow your partner to learn to love it in a new way alongside you. Let them explore your new curves and dimples and pay homage to your scars and stretchmarks and the beauty they brought to the life you share together. This is a vulnerable time for you both so letting your partner to love your body while you’re no longer feeling super self-conscious is an important place of growth, for you both.
Peachie Moms Challenge: What area of your body is holding you back from being able to let your partner love your body fully? Talk to your partner about what makes you feel self-conscious and then do an exercise to set yourself free from those insecurities. Consider buying body paint and allowing your partner to write love messages all over your body, have sex with the lights on or be fully naked rather than covering your body after a luxurious bath. If these suggestions make you feel too vulnerable, just start by having the conversation with your partner and slowly easing into allowing your body to be more exposed. Remember, your partner loves you for you! Your body is beautiful.
When You Know You’re a Hot Mama, Let Them Love You
Well, duh, right? After you’ve accepted your changed body, you give yourself permission to love it and then you feel amazing and gorgeous most of the time. That said, this is also typically a time when you become busy keeping that body moving! Once we find true body love, we find new hobbies and passions that have us active and engaged in things that are not our partner. So, consider bringing those belly dance class moves home once in a while or text your honey to wait up for you before you leave your weekly book group you now love so much. While you’re busy loving your body and the life you’ve finally allowed yourself to have, don’t forget to let your partner love it too!
We tend to focus so much on learning to love our own bodies we can often forget about how much of a role our partners play in this body love journey. They truly have incredible power and influence, if we only let them love our bodies during this tender time of development and self-growth. Think of it like a sexy form of self-care – and please, just let them love you. You so deserve it.
Want to challenge yourself to go one step further? Dig deeper? Love your body more than you ever thought you could? Pick up a copy of The Peachie Moms Guide to Body Love for Moms and we will guide you along your journey to body love. “This positively peachie book makes body love manageable for mothers. From head to toe, stretchmark to scar, Peachie Moms co-founders Amanda Edwards and Jen McLellan bring body love to life for mothers of all shapes and sizes.”
Get your copy today!